How To Handle Financial Crisis In Marriage (2)

Peters Precious Oshone

Financial issues in marriage are serious issues. The economy is not very friendly to our hard earned money therefore we have to manage family finances properly in order to avoid chaos in our home. One major issue that pops up these days in a very unfriendly economy, is the issue of a man being unable to fend for his household. It is gross irresponsibility for a man to watch his family lacking their basic needs and then simply fold his hands and watch them suffer or struggle on their own to make ends meet. Several women wallow in frustration and find it difficult to respect their husbands because they can’t take care of them. Or, the woman has to watch her man borrow to pay the rent and the children’s school fees and is frustrated by the thought of having to hide from their ever increasing creditors.

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Dear husband, don’t expect your wife to joyfully fulfil her marital duties or respect you, if you can’t feed or clothe her and her children, and still wake up every morning with no effort whatsoever to change your financial status. Your family will give you a good dose of resentment if you are that kind of man.

Another financial issue that could lead to family crises is an idle woman. Being a stay at home mum is not a bad idea. Of course you can be a housewife and still earn money one way or another. Some men decide to put their wives on a payroll and prevent them from working or doing a business. This decision is not entirely a very smart one because not only might you get tired and start being reluctant in fulfilling your promise, you might also be preventing the woman from doing what she loves most with her life. You cannot pay your wife for taking care of you and your kids; those are priceless investments.

And for the woman that chooses not to earn money in any way, I strongly advise you have a rethink. Even if your husband is your ‘new daddy’, several men are irritated when a woman asks them for money for every little thing she needs to get and this could very well lead to fights and unnecessary quarrels. Whether you have a job or not, it is advisable you learn a trade or get skilled in any area of your choice. At least something you can fall back to when you leave your job or when you need to start up a business of your own. Also, your children will learn  so much from you and that can help them one way or the other in their adulthood. Your husband will also appreciate it if peradventure he’s out of job tomorrow for one reason or the other and you are there to ‘hold the fort’ with your own source of income. And your income could also be a huge source of encouragement to your man, if he doesn’t earn enough to adequately meet family needs. He would cherish your support.

Financial cooperation and unity in a home is also a very vital key to avoiding domestic conflict. Couples should be transparent to one another and come to a compromise on whether to save their money individually or jointly. How the money is spent and what it’s spent on should be determined by both husband and wife, regardless of who earns more or less. Secret spending or money hoarding is a very strong catalyst to marital crises. Even when money is to be given to family members or in laws, transparency is very important. A wife should be willing to submit to her husband in all arrears including finance. And a husband should show love to his wife by not taking her for granted and utilizing family finances in his own way. Even issues of loans and debts should not be hidden. Your spouse should not by some unusual means find out that you are indebted one way or another. It should be a shared information and not a surprise package. One thing that could really hurt a spouse is when it appears that outsiders (even if they are your family members), have more information about you and your activities than they do. Your spouse should be your closest friend and confidant. Not even your parents or siblings should take that place.

In our next edition we would be discussing issues on financial standard of living, money wastage by a spouse and what happens when a woman earns more money than her man. Keep checking this space for more. Cheers!

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