How To Handle Financial Crisis In Marriage (4)

Peters Precious Oshone

Economic recession, financial problems, the world money market and inflation matters; ordinary people suffering the stress of policies made by government. Everything eventually rests on the shoulders of a very small group of people; the family. And when money issues become a problem in a home, the marriage suffers. A man and a woman who cannot come to a compromise when it comes to finance, cannot enjoy the bliss and friendship their marriage has to offer. And the reason is simple; money meets basic needs, acquires assets, sets up businesses and is even one of the tickets to fame. Therefore, a marital relationship cannot survive without properly dealing with financial disputes and differences.

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One major culprit to financial crises in marriage is a person’s family financial background. The way money was acquired and spent while you were growing up can go a long way in shaping your financial way of thinking when you are older. And this could become an issue in marriage, when you and your spouse are headed in two opposite directions and think very differently when it comes to financial management. Before you get married to a person, knowing the person’s financial values should be a part of your courtship period. And whether you like it or not, once you are married, if you don’t find a way to put both ideas on the table and come to a final conclusion, your financial issues would multiply. As a man, you are the ‘president’ of your home and your wife is your ‘special adviser’ in every aspect, therefore, you have to listen to her and bring her counsel to your decision table before making the final decision. As a woman, your husband is your head and your captain, therefore, no matter your financial intelligence and speculations, you still have to find a way to understand his ‘point of view’. No matter the financial background you come from (rich, poor or middle-class), you must find a way to financially agree with your spouse and ensure you are not working in isolation.

Another way one’s financial background can affect a home is when one spouse still seems to be financially tied to their parents, siblings or even friends. Some spouses are not comfortable with the fact that inspite of their home being financially stable to some extent, their husbands or wives still enjoy feeding from their mother’s purse/pot. Dear husbands/wives, please if your spouse turns red each time you get financial aide or basic home items from your parents or siblings or wherever, then its advisable you desist from doing so. Once you are married, protecting the integrity, love and harmony in your home should be your number one priority.

There is something else that can be a huge source of frustration to any married woman and that is when her husband is stingy or miserly. A stingy man will never help his family make good progress and if he is married to a very understanding wife, she would keep filling in the gap for him if she’s capable; and if she isn’t financially capable, the home suffers. Either way, the woman still suffers the frustration of spending all her years with a man who thinks more of himself than his family. A miserly man gives in bits. Some men purposely torture their wives with money, especially when they have a good wife. They seem to enjoy her continuous requests for money to meet basic needs, instead of consciously planning with his wife on whatever they earn. This is a tiresome lifestyle and a good woman might begin to transform or seem like a nagging woman because her husband paints her so. No man should be stingy or miserly to his home rather every man should be liberal, open minded and accommodating to family needs. After all, they are your family.

Lastly on this series I would like to address the issue of having a financial plan for your children. A lot of average families end up fighting over money issues because money is never enough to pay the bills and train the kids. Every responsible parent must have an ongoing financial investment plan for their children. It is gross irresponsibility to keep bearing children you have no plan to take care of. The implication is simple; you fail to plan, you plan to fail. And that failure can go wider than you even imagine. Stop comparing yourself to your parents or comparing your home to your family background. The world is like a moving train; times are changing, so also is our better sense of reasoning. Plan for your kids and save yourself, your marriage and your family from financial battles in future. You can’t avoid every financial stress but you can cut down on the number and save your marriage from unnecessary ‘money aches’.

This is where we draw the curtains on this series and in case you have comments, questions or contributions on this topic, do well to pass them across. Cheers!

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