How I Lost My Virginity

Monica Otega

Losing your virginity can be a delight when giving it to the right man and the one you love, but it could bring an unending pain and disturbing memories when the wrong person takes it from you. Well, people often say that beauty is in the heart, and not necessarily the outward look. That used to offer me some hope, but not anymore. I’ve seen it to be a mere fictional fact, and not in the world of true-realities. A woman needs to be naturally beautiful and artificially endowed to attract the attention of these gullible male folks who are very much ignorant of these Beauties’ wishy-washiness. Well I don’t seem to understand that, perhaps it’s just one of life’s un-explainables. I hate to see myself in a mirror, it’s just took quick to tell me the naked truth- ‘Veronica, you’re very ugly!’ No matter how expensive and good the clothes I wear, no matter the makeups, the hairstyle and finest of shoes, guys hardly notice me. Loneliness is actually the skin I wear on my body. I was a good girl before the corrupting air of life converted me into the Bad Girls Religion. I met Gerald at high school; he never cared about my look. I’d thought he loved me. I’d thought we were both much in love. I loved him so much. Like every other guy, Gerald consistently asked me for sex. I was scared of having sex, maybe because of family background, and also wanted my virginity kept for the man that would become my husband . I come from one of those families where a child, especially a girl is never given much freedom – no room for regrettable mistakes. I denied him sex. ‘‘Let’s wait till our wedding night.” I always told him, because he’d promised to marry me. He would not agree, but I maintained my stand. So it was until I overheard him and his friend, Tony, one day in Gerald’s apartment. They didn’t know I was close-by… ”Guy how far? How’s that your ugly babe- abi na girlfriend self?” Tony said.”Omo I no know again o! What made me even go to her in the first place; she has refused to give me” Gerald said.

”You mean your pestle hasn’t touched her mortar? O boy you never pound all these while” Tony laughed.

 ”Na so o! I don tire self, I’d thought since she isn’t pretty, she’ll be generous with her mouse, she won’t be difficult.” Gerald said to his friend.

”If it were to be one fine girl that’s doing you this way, it’ll be understandable, you know?”

”I’ve made up my mind to let her be, I’m leaving her”. Gerald said. I got so surprised and bittered, I just turned from where I stood and walked back home. To my greatest surprise, Gerald never came looking for me one day. That was how my relationship with Gerald ended. It occurred to me that keeping your virginity in this world had become a stigma.

Two years ago, I came across Akin. One thing led to the other and we started dating. The first day he asked me for sex, I turned him down, but he was quite the understanding kind of guy. When I got home one night, I felt so lonely, and thought myself to be a fool to have still been a virgin at twenty-nine. That night I made up my mind to let go my virginity. The next day, I went to visit Akin, unfortunately for me, he didn’t ask me for what I came for; sex! Deep within, I was disappointed. When I left his apartment, I went to a shop and bought some pornographic DVDs. At this point I was prepared to lose my virginity. Virginity doesn’t pay, I concluded. It was all I watched on my laptop that night, and did a bit of masturbation. I eventually fingered myself to bleeding, since no man has ever penetrated me. Three days later, I went to see Akin, and luckily for me, he asked me for sex. That was the day I officially lost my virginity. We had a great time, even though first time was painful. And from this moment on, being in bed with Akin was almost an everyday thing. I was twenty-nine and thought I could tie him down to myself and to keep his promise of marrying me. I gave my body to Akin whenever he asked for it, barely two months in our relationship; I lost count of the number of times we had had sex. We’ve been dating for two years now. Few days ago, I visited Akin and found a beautiful lady, light complexioned with big boobs, in his house. I’d thought she was one of his numerous relatives, until she asked Akin who I was. I was dead-alive, completely lost when Akin introduced her to me. ”Veronica, please meet my fiancée, Rebecca.” Akin said.

A heartbroken lady crying
A heartbroken lady crying

”Hi” Rebecca greeted me with a suspicious look. I was lost of words, almost dead.

”Actually, Rebecca and I will be tying our love in the knot very soon, our white wedding is just few months from now” Akin said, staring at me. ”Darling” he continued, throwing his arm around Rebecca, ”Veronica is a good friend of mine, she’s been a wonderful friend”

”You’re welcome” She said. With tears about to rain down, I turned and walked away. Oh my God, what a life! I hold nothing against this girl that Akin is set to marry. I just simply hate my look, and I hate Akin for taking advantage of me. I’m thirty-one now; would I ever see a man that will marry me? Akin took away my virginity and left me. All I feel now is to kill him and kill myself.

 

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