In this part of the world, ladies are mostly the ones who have to choose between their careers and their relationships, hence the topic and my direction!
Back in school, especially when we were nearing the final semester, girls would gist endlessly about marriage and getting pregnant. Of course, there were already a lot of single and married mothers in my class; considering I did a part time programme that I was given!
Issues about becoming full-time housewives came up, and I remember a particular lady saying she would become one IF the husband agrees to pay her salary. I looked at her face and she really did mean it; she further went on to say that the salary was going to be different from monies the husband would drop for foods, general upkeep of the house etc.
Now, I do not have a problem with a husband who is financially buoyant enough to pay his wife’s salary. I only have a problem with a woman who wants to turn running her home into a job, and indirectly make the man pay for keeping her in the house – if you want to get a job, get a real job and y’all can work out how the home can be run without major hitch.
Another lady talked, rather gleefully, of how her husband-to-be had promised to set up a boutique for her. In fact, majority of those girls back then, had their entire marriage-boutique future plans mapped out; at some point, it felt like girls were going to get married because of promises of becoming boutique owners!
Hey ladies, do not hate me yet, I am on your side… really, I am; just hold on a few more lines for me. Thank you!
Ok, so one of the ladies that I was close to dared asked what I’d like to sell when I got out of school and became married (as if it was every woman’s right or obligation to sell something at some point in her life or for the rest of it after she got married). Before I could answer, one girl said “Oh, Faith will just pursue her radio broadcasting thing, I’m sure”. Yes, at one point I took time off in school to attend the Radio Nigeria Training School, after which I went to like a dozen interviews!
Not to digress, something inside of me jumped for joy when that girl mentioned that I would probably pursue a career; it just felt good that someone knew I was not the ‘boutique’ type. Insert grin here! Do not get me wrong, being a boutique owner is not a bad thing at all; it’s good – if you are cut out for it! I once got that promise from an ex, and back then I did not see anything wrong with the idea; but as fate would have it that relationship did not make it to the marriage level (obviously), thankfully – if I might add! ‘Cos at some point I would have realized I was more the ladder climber than the boutique owner, and God knows how that would have ended!
To the matter of this write-up then, shall we? In my opinion there are three different kinds of ladies; those that see themselves as strictly wife materials and would commit to being full housewives after marriage, with or without salaries; those that will work for a little bit until their dudes are ready to sweep them in a single whoosh out of singlehood and set them up in businesses of their choice (with or without them contributing to the whole business set up); and finally those that will climb that career ladder (hoping that the husband-to-be will understand that fulfillment will not be achieved by just being wives and mothers, but much more, e.g. a career woman!)