The Marriage Counsellor: Before You Consider That Divorce Option

Elizabeth Nnaji

 

Recently, I have had talks with couples having issues in their marriages and these couples all have at least one child in the union, and one particular couple has four kids; three girls and one boy. As I did my best to settle these couples, there was something that constantly broke my heart, and it still does. What’s this thing? None of this couple ever talked about their child/children in the union, neither were they concerned about the children; it was basically about the man and the wife. Selfish couples! It made me want to believe that these couples were having issues because both husbands and wives are selfish, thinking only of themselves and don’t really care how the other feels. The man wants to have it his way only, so does the woman; mutual respect and compromise are missing in the marriage.

The issues these couples had that each were threatening with divorce, were issues that could be settled amicably if both can reason together. Like I do tell couples, divorce is an option, but the last option only when the marriage becomes life threatening. So, before you rush to file for divorce, please consider just these two things;

  1. Your Children

marriageThis is most important. It is pertinent that a couple understands that the marriage isn’t just about them alone; the children are involved and should be put into consideration, and ensure you sacrifice for whatever challenges you may be facing in the marriage, so long as it’s not life-threatening, consider the children and strive to make the marriage work. You grew up under your both parents’ marriage and got married, so should your children grow under you. Do not think that your mum and dad were perfect beings living together; they made sacrifices for your happiness, and so should you for your children. You never know the damage broken home does to kids until you see children who are seriously suffering from it. Broken marriages have very negative effects on the children, emotionally and psychologically, and most times affect their academic works, especially when they’re still very young. Your children are your responsibilities, and you owe them that duty to be there for them. Do not think giving them all they want or the best that money can afford is enough for them. Children need the presence and attention of both parents living under one roof.

  1. Who are you getting married to next?

It is purely illusional to believe the person outside you are running to marry next is the perfect angel. In most cases, the new one is usually the worst. So, be sure of where you’re running to, for there is no perfect soul out there. And consider also that once you’re divorced, you become second hand; used product__ tokunbo! Whether you are a man or woman, it doesn’t matter, you’re pure tokunbo; a used material. There are brand new ones out there, and they’re the first choice. So ask yourself; “Where am I going to? And who am I getting married to next?”

For questions or advice, contact lizz@cosmicrayintl.com   

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